I'm done... and I need some help

AF showed up today. I'm done with the drugs. I've just had enough. They make me feel completely horrible and it's just not worth it. So we are looking into adoption again.

The adoption we had started isn't going to happen. Paperwork will expire before anything can be done.We knew that was going to happen.But I found 2 children in a different Eastern European country and after sending a few emails, it looks like we should be able to get the paperwork portion done before Eric leaves and he should be home before we would get a court date. And just incase he's not, this country only requires one parent to travel.We are going to have to rush through some of the paperwork to get it done while Eric is still here (there are a few things that he has to be physically present for, so a POA won't work).

Money is going to be very hard to come up with so I'm going to try to get some fundraisers going again. If any of you have old cell phones that you don't use, or printer ink cartridges that are empty, I can send them in and recieve money for them. Or if anyone wants to take up a collection, I can send you a prepaid shipping label to send them in for us.

If anyone wants a new magazine subscription or needs to renew an old subscription, buying them through www.magfundraising.com/ChristensenAdoption will save you money on the subscription, plus 40% of what you spend will go toward our adoption expenses.

Also if you go to www.currentfun.com , they have a lot of interesting things to buy (household items, magazines, cards, flowers, cookie mix, candies, snacks, and lots of other things). We will also recieve part of the profits from anything you buy from that website.
If you do choose to shop there, there are certain things that you have to enter in the check out process.
The Organization's state is North Carolina
On the next page you choose the organization.
Scroll down until you find "Meredith and Eric Christensen."
Then you just proceed through the checkout like normal.

If anyone is interested in helping out in anyway please let me know. Or if anyone has any fundraising ideas, let me know.

Still Waiting...

I'm now on CD 31, and still no sign of AF. I have no idea what's going on really. I had some EWCM on CD's 18 and 19, so I may have O'd CD 19, instead of CD 14 like I thought. I guess I have a few more days to wait and see what happens. I would think AF would be here by Sunday if I O'd on CD 19. I have one test left and I don't want to spend the money on more, so I'm going to try to wait until Sunday to test. The only chance we'll have after this is April. Eric will be gone most of Jan., Feb., and March. That gives me a few months to prepare myself for another month of this. After he leaves.... I'm done. I'm so tired of feeling so horrible all the time. If I'm not pg while he's gone, I'm going to take those 7ish months to get myself back in shape and healthy and then we'll adopt when he gets back. I hate the way these drugs make me feel (physically and emotionally) and I'm just done. It's not worth being miserable all the time. But, we shall see what happens in the next few days. I don't think I'm pg, I don't feel pg. Who knows...

Boy am I glad it's cold outside!

I'm starting to feel the effects of the clomid. I hated being on the lupron when it was hot out, there was absolutely no relief from the hot flashes (other than standing with the freezer door open). With it being cold outside I can walk outside in a t-shirt and cool off real quick.

If this is what the hot flashes were like last time I was on this medicine... I was a WIMP! This is unpleasant, but NOTHING compared to the Lupron. The only time it's really an issue is at night when I'm fighting for space from Eric and the dogs. I like to cuddle with them, but they make me really hot and then I'm stuck between them with no way out. The rest of the day, if I'm wearing a sweatshirt I'll have a hot flash, but if I'm in a t-shirt I'm fine 99% of the time. If it was the middle of the summer, I'm sure I'd probably have more issues. Thank God for winter... now if only it would snow!

I've also been getting dizzy, which I don't remember happening last time. It doesn't last long, just short dizzy spells, but it worries me a little since I do so much driving for work. Oh well... gotta go to work, not much I can do about it.

Progress!!

AF finally showed up today. Meaning that I ovulated during the week that Eric was on the boat... that is so my luck. But I will be starting my clomid on Friday. Eric's schedule is light through December, they aren't going anywhere so I think this will be our best chance. Starting in January he's going to be all over the place and I don't know how often he'll be home at the right time of the month. I'm still trying to convince him to put some "swimmers" on ice before he leaves so I can do IUI with them after he's gone. That way everything will be timed correctly. We'll see if that actually happens though.

But, we are moving forward... finally!

Hurry up and Wait...

I went back to see my doctor yesterday and we discussed the options that we have at this point. She had mentioned using Femara this time instead of Clomid, so that is the expectation I had going into the appointment. But... since I did ovulate each month when I was on the Clomid she thinks it's a good idea to try the Clomid again. I did get pregnant before with the Clomid/Metformin combination, so hopefully it was the endometriosis that caused me to miscarry and now that we've treated it things will go better. I'm not looking forward to being back on this drug. It means more hot flashes and mood swings, but hopefully it will all work out this time.

I have to wait for my period to start before I can get started on the clomid again. I really have no idea when that will be happening. I have no way of knowing exactly when the Lupron wore off, so I just get to sit around and wait it out.

Lupron shot 4/4

I'll be getting my fouth and final lupron injection on Wednesday. I can't even begin to explain to you how excited I am to be finished with this drug. I've got about 4 more weeks of side effects to deal with, but the end is in sight. I'm ready to take some steps forward instead of just being in menopause and miserable. It's such a strange feeling to be getting closer to getting back to TTC. It's been such a crazy year and a half since I miscarried. I struggled with depression for a few months following that, then I had the laproscopy which gave us some more answers. The first time I started the Lupron it was just awful. I had so much stress in my life still, that I just couldn't handle it. The last 3 months haven't been fun, but I have reduced my stress and I'm doing better.

It's frightening to know that in a month I'll be out of menopause and able to TTC again. It has almost been a relief to KNOW for the last few months that there was no chance to get pregnant. No hopes of a positive test, and no fears of the disapointment of a negative. The home pregnancy test companies are probably starting to struggle without all of the business I usually give them. LOL. Soon I'm going to have those chances and fears back. They pushed the MEU back until May, so we'll have about 6 months before Eric deploys to try and get pregnant. Hopefully it won't take that long, although I'm not thrilled about the possiblity of having a baby while he's gone, but that's military life...

Welcome

I wanted to have a separate place to put our TTC news, away from the adoption news. They're both part of the journey toward having a family, but are very different experiences, so I wanted them each to have their own place.

I don't have anything new to report at this point. I will be getting my 4th and final Lupron shot next week and then the fun will begin.